In our therapy practice, we believe humans are hardwired to connect with others . Just as we need air to breathe oxygen into our lungs, food to nourish us, and water to keep our bodies functioning, we also require certain emotional needs to be fulfilled. We refer to these as relational needs, and they are met through relationships and social connectedness. One of the relational needs is affection , which is expressing care and closeness through physical touch and words such as “I love you” or “I care about you” (Ferguson, Ferguson, Thurman & Thurman, 1994). This relational need is especially important in romantic partnerships, as a lack of affection is a total relationship killer. I love to teach my couples counseling clients about the relational needs and help them discover specifically how they need to be met. One way I do this with couples in therapy is by helping them discuss and clearly define how they like to experience affection. Traditionally, affection gets ...