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  In our therapy practice, we believe humans are hardwired to connect with others . Just as we need air to breathe oxygen into our lungs, food to nourish us, and water to keep our bodies functioning, we also require certain emotional needs to be fulfilled. We refer to these as relational needs, and they are met through relationships and social connectedness. One of the relational needs is affection , which is expressing care and closeness through physical touch and words such as “I love you” or “I care about you”  (Ferguson, Ferguson, Thurman & Thurman, 1994). This relational need is especially important in romantic partnerships, as a lack of affection is a total relationship killer. I love to teach my couples counseling clients about the relational needs and help them discover specifically how they need to be met. One way I do this with couples in therapy is by helping them discuss and clearly define how they like to experience affection. Traditionally, affection gets ...

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  New to the Enneagram and want to know where to start? When you don’t know much about the Enneagram, it can feel like information overload! We’ve gathered some resources to help you on your journey. The Enneagram is a powerful and dynamic personality system describing nine distinct and fundamentally different personality types. The nine types have different patterns of thinking, feeling, and acting. As you discover your personality type and how it colors your view of the world, you’ll also discover what motivates you, your coping strategies, and keys to personal development. Tips for getting started with the Enneagram Take an assessment You can begin by completing one of the online Enneagram tests we’ve included below. It’s important to know that the test alone cannot determine your type, but you can use the results as a jumping off point to get you going in the right direction. The RHETI test will give you your top 3 types and urges you to explore them each to see which one ...

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