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  While there are many aspects at play that contribute to having an effective discussion during conflict, one of the most important is the way the discussion starts. Many times, when two people are in conflict, it’s not a discussion at all… it’s an argument… a fight. One of the reasons a fight breaks out is because of the way the topic is brought up in the first place. How it Usually Goes Think about it, when you’re upset with your partner or have a complaint about something, how do you typically tell them? I mean, some of the phrases I’ve definitely thrown out there in the past sounded something like this… “You never do the dishes! It’s always my responsibility.” “There you go again, just doing your own thing. You don’t even care about spending time with me. You’re so selfish.” “I can’t believe you. You’re so lazy, just lying on the couch while I’m cleaning the house.” Sound familiar? Trust me... I’m not proud. When you begin conversations with criticism, blame your partne

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  Relationships are work. If you want a good one, it takes maintenance. To have a strong, sound relationship, you need to make sure you’re taking time to spend time with one another on a regular basis. Spending time together as a couple doesn’t mean just being in the same space at the same time, but actually connecting and enjoying one another. One way to do this is to carve out time to go on regular dates. As couples therapists , we typically suggest a weekly date to our counseling clients. Obviously, the concept of dates being good for relationships isn’t anything groundbreaking. But how many of you actually plan and go on dates regularly? And I don’t mean just going out randomly to lunch because you don’t have anything at the house. I mean actually planning an outing and calling it a date. Many of us start out our relationships with regular dates, but somehow, with all of the busyness is our day-to-day lives, it just gets forgotten. It gets pushed to the back-burner. You’re re

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  Real life, I love a good podcast. Something to know about me is that I’m not a huge TV or movie watcher. Let me clarify by letting you know that I don’t say this to be one of those holier- than-thou-I-don’t-even-own-a-TV-I’m-above-that-noise type of person. Actually, I wish I enjoyed it more! A few shows catch my attention, but I have a hard time sitting still for long, which makes investing in a season somewhat of a challenge. And then there are podcasts, which only require my ears to listen and have a similar entertainment factor as TV does. I can drive, do dishes, do chores or workout while I listen. A multitasker’s dream. Here are a few podcasts I’m loving right now! Conscious Construction https://www.abirobinsyoga.com/consciousconstruction/ I’m such a fan of this newish podcast hosted by Austin Yoga Therapist, Abi Robins. Abi is just a force, a very special one at that! We connected last year because of our mutual love for the Enneagram and even decided to pair up to host

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